


Boys will boys, but you’re not like the other ones

by 3llis



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Richie Tozier, Depression, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie kills himself, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, I cried while writing this, M/M, One Shot, One-Shot, Sad, Self-Harm, So much so, Straight Richie Tozier, Suicide, Unrequited Love, angst to feed your soul, he kills himself since richie can’t love him back, im so sorry guys, like A LOt i cried sm istg, like i’m actually proud of this, song-fic, y’all read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 20:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3llis/pseuds/3llis
Summary: Eddie’s feelings become too much and he decides to leave. (It’s a lot better than it sounds, and it’s short, great for a quick read!)





	Boys will boys, but you’re not like the other ones

**Author's Note:**

> Song-fic, the title is based off of Boys by Beach Bunny. But i actually got the motivation to write this from ‘Greetings from California’ but beach bunny as well.

His life isn’t a complex one. Of course, this is what a boy by the name of Eddie Kaspbrak would say. Eddie Kaspbrak would also deny having a crush on a certain boy. A boy, one with an angular face and unruly raven colored hair. 

That certain boy’s name is Richie Tozier. Tozier is a dork, to say the least. A dork who hides his insecurities with a facade of jokes and laughs. 

Eddie could see straight through him. Yes, Eddie could see a gentle softness softness dancing in Richie’s eyes as well. It was something unique to Richie, and Richie only. Eddie only wished he could be the one who caused it. An overwhelming amount of emotion that even Richie-fucking-tozier couldn’t ignore. He could only hope that the lanky boy would look his way. However, it was very prominent in his head, that this would never happen. 

‘Something strangely poetic’ is what Stanly Uris had called it. Stan knew as well, Richie Tozier only had eyes for the one and Bryer. Bryer was a beautiful girl, even Eddie simply couldn’t deny it. The way her short brunette locks would sway behind her as she strutted down the hallways. Bryer was a confident young girl, just shy of seventeen. She wasn’t the most popular, nor was she stuck way way down. As the Losers were. 

When confronted about his longing looks and jealous daggers aimed at guys who would approach the poor girl, he’d laugh it off and simply say ‘Well, she is beautiful. ain’t she?’ Despite spoken in a horrendous british accent he always spoke with an uncharacteristically flustered look on his face, an anxious hand clasped on the back of his neck, rubbing there slightly. It was generic. Eddie loves that look, Richie used to get the same way about the small asthmatic boy. Platonically, of course.

It seemed as if Richie was the only member of the Losers who wasn’t aware of Eddie’s painful crush. The way dear ol’ Eddie’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of his Trashmouth. It never took much, nope, a simple brush of limbs or the twist of a plump smirk was enough to send Eddie over the edge, clenching his hands and creating painful crescents in his palms to avoid grasping for his inhaler. 

It was getting to be too much. 

That’s what lead Eddie to be sitting where he is right now. Legs tucked underneath his torso, blankets pulled up to the highest point they’ll reach without falling off. A razor blade held in his shaking hand, poised directly over the barely-visible blue veins on the underside of his forearm. Directly below them a deep gash on each wrist, one that was quickly spilling out the crimson-red liquid that was oddly viscous. Staining his sheets as well as his skin. 

The clocks hand had just hardly reached the peak of midnight. Dim moonlight sinking in through the curtains opposite of his bed. Eddie’s face was ghostly pale, enough so that you’d assume him to be already dead if it weren’t for his very-red blood and beating heart. 

The boys breath wouldn’t cooperate with his wishes. He wished for this moment to be serene. Maybe a pretty love song in the background, treat it as the low-point in a cinematic film. Rather than the tears that wouldn’t subside. Rather than that, his expression would be perfectly stoic. Void of emotions— of feelings. Oh but of course, he just couldn’t have that either. 

His expression just had to be ugly, didn’t it? Eyes puffy from the tears, his lip poking out annoyingly. In a way that would cause his mother to say ‘it’s going to get stuck like that, y’know?’. That’d always cause his expression to go back to normal. 

He wished for Richie to be there, to hold him in his arms, tell him he loves him. Reality wouldn’t have that though. Eddie was painfully aware of this fact as his vision clouded black around the edges. It wasn’t an ideal death, but it was good enough for Eddie. 

He died with Richies cheerful smile blinding him behind his lids.


End file.
